Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
