He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
