Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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