dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
