I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
