what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
