We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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