Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
