i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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