oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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