plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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