When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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