wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
