Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
