quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
