Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
