Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
