you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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