This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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