Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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