I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Drake has all the answers
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My vagina just clenched in fear
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize