This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
