Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have fence marks all over my body
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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