Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
