Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
