What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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