Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
