Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
