i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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