i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
