i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
