YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
