Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
