I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
