Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
