So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
