Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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