don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
