The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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