Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
