we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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