Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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