Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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