She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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