uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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