so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize