so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she told me i tasted like america
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
