I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
