I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
