Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
