SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
