I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
