Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize