I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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