my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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