maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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