i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
