I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
