I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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