I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
