It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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