I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
