omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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