your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
my poor anus
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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