take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
