You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
