we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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