someone get that fucking seahorse.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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