I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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