Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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