i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize