I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize