Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
