I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
